Our desire for perfection causes anger. Anger arises when something undesirable has happened. When someone has created an obstacle in the fulfillment of our desires. When someone has insulted us or someone has expressed derogatory remarks about you while backbiting. All such reasons make one flare up in anger and are the apparent reasons for one to become angry. Now is it possible that someone can attain so much power that no one should say or do anything against him ? This is certainly impossible. Even to the most powerful person in the world, undesirable things keep on happening and he or she is helpless to prevent it. Even if we can stop one person from insulting us or saying something against us there is no guarantee that another person will not start doing the same thing. While we cannot change the whole worlds according to our wishes, we can certainly change ourselves to get rid of the misery that one suffers because of generating anger. For this one has to seek a deeper reason for the anger within oneself rather than outside.
Anger is one of the most misunderstood and overused human emotions. First anger is a reaction to an inner emotions and not a planned action. Second anger is easier to show, everyone has anger issue. Third the feeling underling the anger reaction make us feel vulnerable and weak, your anger makes you feel, atleast momentarily strong and in control. Forth angry behaviours are learned over the life span and therefore can be unlearned and replaced with healthier patterns of coping. Fifth anger can be an immediate action to an isolated event or it can be an response after numerous events.
Without patience miracle cannot be performed. Our world is one of provocation. Whenever there is provocation: big or small, you have only two options: either to succumb to anger and hatred and fail to do anything positive in the situation or remain patient.
Mahatma Gandhi provides a perfect example of how anger can be harnessed. As a young, unknown, brown-skinned lawyer traveling in South Africa on business, he was roughly thrown from the train because he refused to surrender his first-class ticket and move to the third-class compartment. He spent a cold, sleepless night on the railway platform.
Later, he said this was the turning point of his life: for on that night, full of anger because of this personal injustice, as well as the countless injustices suffered by so many others every day in South Africa, he resolved not to rest until he had set those injustices right. On that night he conquered his anger and vowed to resist injustice, not by violence or retaliation, but through the loving power of nonviolent resistance, which elevates the consciousness of both oppressed and oppressor.
Anger Management Tips:
- Take a ‘timeout.’ When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry , count to one hundred before reacting really can defuse your temper.
- Take a few long deep breathes.
- Get some space. Take a break from the person you’re angry with until your frustrations subside a bit.
- Smile. When we smile , we defuse many negative situations.
- Once you’re calm, express your anger. It’s healthy to express your frustration in a non-confrontational way.
- Get some exercise. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
- Think carefully before you say anything. Otherwise, you’re likely to say something you’ll regret. Words are under your control until you speak them.
- Identify solutions to the situation. Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work with the person who angered you to resolve the issue at hand.
- Don’t hold a grudge. If you can forgive the other person, it will help you both. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
- Use humor to release tensions. Lightening up can help diffuse tension.
- Practice relaxation skills. Yoga
- Practice meditation.
There are three types of people in the world:
- One who is like writing on a rock.— one who always gets angry and his anger lasts long.
- One who is like scratching on the ground—-one who always gets angry but his anger does not last long, just as scratching on the ground is soon worn off by wind, water and lapse of time.
- one who is like writing on the water—certain person easily reconcile and become agreeable and friendly, just as writing on the water soon disappears.
HEALTHY ANGER IS LIKE WRITING ON THE WATER.Be angry consciously.