In Mahabharta, Duryodhana, the eldest Kaurava, is the villain.
His envy results in a great war where millions are killed. He cannot bear the success of his cousins, the Pandavas. He wants them to be destroyed. He refuses to part with even five villages for the sake of peace. He destroys his own peace of mind so as to destroy his enemies. Such hatred! Where did it come from ?
What creates a Duryodhana ? A man so bitter & angry, who refuses to focus on his own good fortune, but always comparing himself with his cousins and feeling miserable.
What creates this personality?
Duryodhana’s father Dhritarashtra is blind. His mother, Gandhari, is blindfolded. The father cannot see the son. The mother refuses to see her son (whatever her reason). So a son grows up unseen by his parents.
No one notices the child growing up full of rage. No one corrects him. No one notices the child’s growing sense of inadequacy. The child succumbs to flattery. The result is disastrous. If we look around, we can see a lot of Duryodhanas among us.
We all have felt neglected, unappreciated, unacknowledged at some point of our life. As student, we study hard and get good grades, as professional, we work hard and get paid, but that is not enough.
We yearn to be seen, to be recognized by our management, our peers and parents.
When that does not happen, we begin to develop a sense of inadequacy, which gnaws at our confidence. This loss of confidence, this accumulated rage can force us to take wrong decisions.
This is the difference between a Duryodhana and a Yudhishthira.
Duryodhana had everything but due to lack of confidence went the wrong way.
Yudhishthira even during his most trying times was capable of making the right decisions because he had the confidence in himself.
When we are recognized, we feel appreciated and valued for our contributions. In the workplace, recognition can come in many forms, from formal awards or bonuses to more informal gestures like a ‘good job’ ping from a manager. Whatever form it takes, recognition is a powerful tool that can boost employee morale, and impart confidence.